My cat Mackie appeared from underneath the bed, dragging something long behind him. After trying to retrieve it from his small but mighty jaw without actually ruining it, I realized it was my long lost radio handphone earpiece.

I cried.

At least I managed to call Hannan and give him all the deets.. Yehh. After 2 tries.. After 2 times dialing the wrong number.. Whoops. Well. At least I got the first 5 digits right. Ahhah. The first one was a lady so I knew and I quickly hung up. But I wasn't as lucky the next.

Ah. Fuck that. I'm missing my phone already(:

And momma's not back yet.. Good. Okie. So here's the deal: I will tell her that I've decided to cut off my phone line. And then she will say why so and thinks I'm up to something which I am I guess?

I'm up to make her think that losing my phone is actually a good thing(: I'd give anything to make sure she'll buy that crap((:

Shit. She's home..


People. Do not sms me or anything yerh? You can wait for my reply forever if you want to. I'm not replying. Because I can't la. Because I bloody lost my phone((: Probably left it in that stupid 169 bus. Ahh.

I was terrified at first. Ah. My phone. My phone with the uniquely cracked screen and.. shit. All my friends' numbers are inside. Oh no!! Summie's number!!!! I can't sms him anymore! )': Not that I do. But all his crappy text messages I had bloody saved in my inbox, now gone. Ouf. This is even suckier than I thought.

The only number I memorized was Atiqah's. And Twins'. Shit. Ow man. I suuck.

And whoever has my phone now, he/she sucks too. I tried calling, but my phone was switched off. I was really hoping someone cute had picked up my phone and waiting for me to call and then we'll meet and he'll return my phone and then.. you know. Yeh. But NO.

Guess that only happens in the movies. Fucking movies.

I'm having a hard time trying to recall Hannan's number. He had asked for clues Miss Tan gave for Geography and I said I would call him when I get home(I was at the vet when he text). Now I'm home and I'm bullshit. Hang on in there, dawg! Erm. Hang on?

Dejavu. Because I remembered texting Atiqah using Lina's phone, and feeling completely numb. And I remembered looking at myself in the mirror and laughing at myself after that. Because it seemed it happened before. Erm. You get it? As in, I had a dejavu of having a dejavu?

Syak needs the computer now and I need to go study Geography and do something about my Malay. But I can't mug in peace knowing my phone is lost and momma's going to kill me, and Hannan's waiting for my call and for all I know, Summie is trying to text me and.. Okie. That? Impossible.

I know I've thought of cutting off my phone line (anyway, like I've told you, the screen is cracked and the buttons are not working right so what's the point of holding onto it? even though i find the crack really cool) but very sayang ar.

But bright side? Now I don't have to deal with sleepless nights debating with myself whether or not I should cut my phone line(: And momma and I don't have to pay the phone bills((: And that means more money put aside for allowance and cats' vaccination and probably a new Dicsman((((:

But my phone is a great sentimental value to me..): It's been with me through thick and thin, through rain and shine, through bulls and elephants and whatever it is to do with it is.. fuck I want my phone back!

Nar. This is what I get for being careless. Got to be responsible for my own stupid mistakes.

I hope momma's in a good mood when she comes back from work later(:

Wish me all the best, guys.


Hi. How you doing?

Momma gave me 20 bucks this morning. Now I'm left with no more money. Zero cash. Kosong. Zilch. Nada. 0. <- that is the number zero, just for your infomation(: So. To put that simply, I'm broke.

What the hell did I do to my money? Huh? Oh. I turned them into paper planes and threw it out of the window to watch it glide and slide and fly and erm, shmly. Right. Can I think of anything more lame?

I'm not going to spend. Shucks. I'm trying to save up. I'm putting aside plenty of money for Mackie's vaccination tomorrow.. Yeh. To the vet we go~

School's fine today. It's just the lessons that are such a bitch. Yep. What else is new?

Hm. Let me try to recall: Sadako lost her specs and we had a search party. Ahhah. Kind of. No, not really. Instead, Sriee and I ran off to look for Miss Lim. She wasn't around so we pretended to look for the lost specs.... ((:

I failed my Emaths. Now that's something new. Actually no. .. What's wrong with me? I really did study! Maybe that's the thing. You don't study Emaths. You practise them. Ugh. Practise shmractise.

Last period was PC period. I was dying. Dying to go home and finish my Geography revision, dig out my malay Peribahasa, and many other things whatever is it Shawtiz do.

But the main thing really was to get out of that school. Sigh. It's sad. I've always loved Peirce. Because he's in it. Oh, he's still in it alright. Just that.. Oh well. Crushes come and crushes go. Thank God I have my beloved homies((:

And Winnie is one of them((((: She was like, "Hey lelaaa! I miss youu!" And I just beamed(: I don't know if she's been studying too much and her brain's all wanky and that's just the Physics formulas in her head speaking. But it did kind of perked me up a little.

"I so bored sitting beside that Sharon! Haiyoo. I can go to sleep ar, everytime with her.."

Haha. Don't you always sleep, Winnie? What you saying?! Hahhaha.

Scary thing is, I think I'm beginning to miss her too. Shit. I didn't know that Amaths period yesterday was the last time I'm ever going to lay my ass next to hers. I can still remember like it was yesterday(it was yesterday!).. Winnie was bugging me with questions like, "Eh. How's my hair? How's my hair? Do I look okay? How's my hair?"

Annoyed, I just told her off. "Can you not ask me that question over and over again? It's fine la."

And I miss her going, "Watch your language" in her best motherly voice everytime I swear and say "Watch that finger" everytime I point my middle finger behind teachers' back. <- Joke. (Yes. She was shocked I did those things.. I, on the other hand, was shocked she didn't.)

And then Miss Khai walked in for Social Studies, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting beside Xian Yao, stoning so uncoolly.

Ah. What the hell. I'm sitting next to Norine now(: And Sakura's right in front of me. So. Life's looking much better. But Sriee's all the way back now.. Ahha. Pfft.

Hahhah. Wait. Something cool happened. I bloody surprised The Pencil Gang(Norine, Liling, Yuwen, K.en and Noviani) with my sudden outburst! My vulgar sudden outburst......

Noviani was doing something gross to Liling's butt. I'm not going to mention it here because it's super gross and I was super amused and I just went, "What the fuck are you doing, Noviani?!" really loud, emphasizing that significant word and Ken in front of me nearly tripped and broke her jaw in shock.

"Lela! I can't believe that word coming from you!" Yuwen was practically crying. Hahahahhahahahahhah. .... Sigh. There goes my good girl image down the drain. Sorry, gang. This shows just how much you know about me(: That, I assure you though, is not necessarily a bad thing. Ahhha.

Angel Institution has clipped my wings. I'm a demon(have always been and will always be) under the angel robe and harp and whatnots. Yeh. Whatever that thing floating on angels' head is called. Fill me in.

They were not the only one shocked at my totally uncool behaviour..?? Miss Lim was another. Ahahha.

I passed her the money I managed to collect from those bastards EL members(: Bastards. Hahha. I swore in front of her some more..... Sari told me yesterday that she had paid to Miss Lim. So when I asked Miss Lim, and she told me no she hadn't got a single cent from her, I went, "Ah! Bastard kau, Sari!"

But I insisted that I was saying something about getting a basket next time to put the money in and a nice orange sari draped over it so no one can guess there are money inside.....?

Miss Lim asked if I have the list of names yada-yada. Of course, I lied. So when she asked for it right at that spot, I quickly added, "Of course I have the list but I don't have it now.." She narrowed her eyes at me and I narrowed mine at her.

Then our roles changed. "I thought you have the list? You have the original one some more, right?!" I was saying. Ahha my good. (Whoops. Is there such?)

That teacher looked greatly amused. She admitted she has it somewhere.... Then weirdly she sighed. "Long time I didn't scold you girls. So don't make me. Make sure you dig out the list from wherever you think you left it."

Ahhah she knows me so well it's creepy. I don't know what I was thinking and I said to her, matching her tone, "No. You have it, YOU dig it out. Ahhahha. Hahhah.." And then. "Whoops."

Miss Lim tweaked my ear. Ouchie. She didn't say anything though. Just tsked. But underneath it all, I can hear her screaming, "That is something probably Atiqah would say! Bad Lela. Very bad!"

Heh. (: People say things people don't mean. People wish to take it back but people can't. So people should just learn to bloody forget and forgive.

No there isn't a mistake that. It's forget and forgive(: People will never forgive wholeheartedly. Unless they forget, that is. Hurhur. Laugh, I command.

Greatly pissed off with Twins because they ran off with the umbrellas, leaving us all umbrella-less. (?)

Squeezed under Kartini's cute blue tatty bear umbrella with Nana(: I've missed that little kickass friend of mine(((: I wish she were my sister. No I don't. I don't want her to be like me.

Not that my sisters are like me or anything. I meant as in, how I have badly influenced my young sibs. Yeh. It's sad. Feel for me. Not.

I blog alot. Must have been pretty worked up with stuffs around me lately. I feel better now though. I'd feel better if you tag and say you love me. Ahhah. Joke(:

Later.


Hahhaha. Yesterday's entry freaks everyone out. Murhahahhaha. Split personality? No. I just have two different modes..? You know what? I don't know. I'm only fifteen. I've still need to sort out who I really really am. So in a meantime, what you think of me isn't really helpful. I guess?

School's a bitch!!! Ahh! Here's the thing. Miss Khai changed a couple of our seats.. Well. She changed Sharon, Linus and Justin's seats because they changed their original seats.....? So they were the bad people. Haha. I had nothing to do with them. I faithfully sat next to Winnie on all dreadful lessons. Kind of.. So explain to me again why I had to give up my wonderful seat to Sharon and sit all the way to the back of the class? Huh? Huh?!

Haha. First I had to deal with fatass Winnie. Now it's, erm, lankyass Xian Yao. Woohoo. He who makes weird noises with his knuckles. That never fails to amaze me. The amusing thing is that when he starts it, to my right Lolenzo would continue and then from the other corner, Roystonn would respond back.. So. I'm like, wahahh lovely(: What, is that some secret code thingie? Can I know? Pretty please? (Hah right on.)

Now everybody makes fun of mee.. Poor Lela. Boohoohoo. Shit. Mrs O was surprised to find me at the back. She was like, "Now your all the way here? But can you see the board? You're so short!"

Thanks, Mrs O. That really made my day(: Cmere and lemme gip you a big fat kick in the butt(: Ahhah.. Joke.

But I'm cool really(or so I keep telling myself!!). Because tomorrow the class is going to rearrange the whole desks. Yup. Exam mode. I'm going to be sitting next to Norine and Yu/Yiping (shit it's the end of the year already and I still haven't know who is who..)

Hm. What do you call someone whose against his/her own race? Wacky racist? And what do you call someone whose against his/her own sex? Even wackier sexist?

Hmm. Off to mugger mode. Happy studying, people.


Dear Lela,

Okay here's the deal. We are aware that your exams are around the corner. As a matter of fact, your first paper is this Friday! Mothertongue and Geography. Wow, huh? We bet you wet yourself when you found out about that.

Sad that we're not here to clean up after you. We're here actually, to make more mess than it is already. Haha. You're most welcome.

We are also aware, that you blogged a whole load of crap last night, which you didn't publish. Why didn't you? We know why. Because it's stupid. You're stupid. Sorry to have said that, but we're just doing our job.

Your readers don't have a clue what you wrote about. We are going to do the honour of telling them. Lela, you can just sit back and watch. Or read, in this case. (Now we're beginning to pick up your writing shitnitz.)

"Which is important? Pleasing myself, or pleasing others?" you asked. And it's funny how you answered your own question. We're not going to write down what your own response was. We're going to write down ours.. It's more interesting and understandable. And most importantly, it's the truth.

Obviously, pleasing yourself is much more important than pleasing others. You said that 'pleasing others pleases you'. Well. That's bulls. Our association do not see the point of pleasing others. There's so much other things you can do to please yourself.

Correct us if we're wrong, but we know you know that we're right, Lela. You are not a nice person. Stop pretending to be nice!! What do you get by being nice? Both to yourself and to others. They're not going to appreciate it. They're not going to appreciate you.

Harsh. But true.

You may disagree with us on that one, Lela. We know, we know. We can see you going hells no and shaking your head and making a scene and saying exactly this, "It all really depends on what type of person you are."

So. Good question. What type of person are you, Shawty?

Crazy, yes. Crazy how you think you know so well about yourself. Sweet? Sweet shmweet. Hah. Okay. Fair enough.

Ready for the truth? Here goes: you don't know who exactly you are. You think you know. But you don't. You're only fifteen, for crying out loud. There's so much more you need to know about yourself, which will become clearer to you later down the road when you're more open and mature. If you're lucky enough and you're ready to except you as you. Not as someone you know who you think is uber cool and you want to be just like her/him.

You see, that's the thing with people these days. Copycats. And know-it-all. Clueless freaks, who needs association like us to whack their filthy butts back to reality, to wake them from their helpless reverie, and yes. You get our drift.

Thank you for taking time off to read this and cry, Lela. We truthfully appreciate it. Look out for more from us again. At the meantime, maybe you could write to us and tell us more about what you think you know about yourself? We need something to laugh at.

Yours ever,
Cold Hard Truth Association.


I would like to wish my youngest sister Syakila Ismail aka 'Syak' who turns 10 today a very.. so-so birthday. Hahaha. Kila, this is your evil-est most demonic sister here saying, continue hating(:

Ahha. That was lame. But lame is the only way she will understand(:

Calling Farhan Ghazali! Ehhe. One more birthday kid. Birthday hunk, actually. Damn. I hope he doesn't read this.. -blush blush. Haha. Oh. Erm. Ghaz! Happy 15th(: I'm 2 days late. So. Belated 15th. Long live Ghaz and Jena.

Theodore Tay, Dicky Hermz(haha!) and Norine Goh! Happy belated as well. (Shit. I think I've wished you guys already...?) Norine! Your present is propped up on my shelf like as if it's mine.. hahha whoops. You'll get it first thing tomorrow.. -winkz.

Oh. Joan Chan! Referring to your tag: Where got like that one!!! Wahlao.. Been talking too much to Aldric, right? =p Ehehhe. Never mind. It's good enough that you tagged.

Unlike some people I know... or I don't. But I know! ..

I'm sorry but I can't blog much right now(: I've got to mug. I'm a mugger. Murhhahahah. Happy mugging, people. But remember to take a break every once 45 minutes. Because after 45 minutes, no matter how much you study, nothing will get into your brain! So it's really a waste of time(: Roger that?

Pray that I'll blog again tonight.. Pray, damn it! (:


Hi I'm back and there's no one to pretend to care or feel happy about it. Haha. I understand. It's the exams. I don't think anyone will be reading this.. (if you are, hii I love you and please do tag! Or else.. -hides axe behind back.) Damn. What I'm going to blog will all go the waste. But something tells me, there's always someone who will come stumbling upon my blog, reading my beautiful craps, and loving it.

Do not flatter yourself, Lela. You're not that interesting.

.. Anyway. These past few days I've been going to school extra early(: and I will always bump into Umeya in the bus. Not literally of course. Haha. It's impossible to bump into Umeya. I mean, she's practically the first person I see when I board the bus. Haha. (Read between the lines. Ha! Hahah.)

Yesterday was a Thursday.. We had CME test and we used that remote thingie haha. You have no idea how fascinated I was the first time I was introduced to it. Like, wow omigawd I wish everything we do comes with a remote! A remote to switch on the computer, a remote to shut the door, to close the window, to turn on the tap, to open the fridge, to turn on the lights. Oh! A remote to 'turn yourself on' during boring crappy maths lessons on geometry. Haha. And a remote to work your remote. And another remote to work the remote to work your remote.

And definitely a remote to shut you permanently off, Lela.

Like you would :p

Don't push your luck. Can you just say what you have to say?

Fine.

Miss Tan rocks(: She postponed our Geography test yesterday because she found out we had 3 tests for that day. Isn't she just wonderful? Too bad she won't be with us next year to watch us take our O's...

Mrs O found chewing gum in our class(: She almost called up the police.

Miss V. Tan took over for amaths because Miss Teo couldn't be with us.. I hate to admit, I'm going to miss her. Joke! Hahahhahha.. Right. Aherm. I understand better with Miss V. Tan teaching. Not saying that Miss Teo sucks because I'd prefer her anytime. And I don't know why I prefer her anytime. Then again, I want Chengz!
Oh. Mrs J was late for Bio(: She rushed in, apologizing for being late. Someone ought to tell her, we don't mind at all she should keep it up. Ha.

No, Lela. No! Your biology sucks! And exams are coming. You need Mrs J.

Awright.. Well. You should have been there when she greeted us and we greeted back as draggy as bulls, "Goooooooooooooo-" The nerve she had.. cutting us off rudely even before we could say a proper 'good' and snapping at us, "Forget it. Hurry up sit down and take out your book!" Had she forgotten, she was the one late? Hello?

Hello.

Hurhur. You a comedian. I should have known.

Carry on.

Well today basically sucks. Geography test was simple. Not simply easy. But simple as in..... err. How do I explain this? Oh well. The test contained only 1 structured question. Yeh. With many many parts. It's alright. It's pretty easy. If I had studied the right thing! Which I hadn't. After that I had Physics retest which I did like bulls. I don't know what's gotten into me. No motivation I guess?

Oh!! I just told you that Miss Teo couldn't be with us remember? Now the whole class knew why!

APparently, she took time off to practise singing! We found her in this chinese magazine with her friend, and they just won a thousand bucks in a singing competition thingo!! And after Geography, Miss Teo used to AVA for her D&T lesson. The whole class just went crazy!!! Suhandy got the mic and practically shoved it in her face!

Well of course we're not sure about her taking time off our Amaths to practise singing. We made that up. Hahahha. But it's a fact that Miss Teo is a good singer(: Miss Tan said so herself. Whoa. Haha. Try believing that.

During Emaths, someone's phone rang. Instead of, you know, confiscating the phone, Mr Goh actually kind of complimented on the ringtone! He was like, "Eh. What ringtone phone is that, better than mine?" ..Unbelievable.

It wasn't the first time that someone's phone rings in between lessons. It happened yesterday too, during Physics with Chan. It was Liling's. Chan tsked and shook his head. Thing was, Liling could even actually answer her phone!! Chan almost went bonkers. Hahahha.

After school, Sriee and I had lunch at tp and guess who I saw! Kay On! Ahh! Hahahhah. He was with this other buddy of his, which I couldn't quite recognize... I didn't thought Kay On would remember me. Because when I looked at him and he looked back, he had this blank look. And then suddenly his face broke into a huge sheepish grin and he yelled, "Baboon!"

My smile wavered slightly.. I should have seen that one coming. And to think he would actually try to call me by my actual name.

His buddy asked me if there was tuition today. Of course not. And then Kay On later retorted to his buddy in Chinese(thanks to Sriee who translated everything for me!), "Of course la don't have. If have she wouldn't be here eating, right?"

-guffaws.

We went to get Norine her present, which took ages. We couldn't make up our mind! From photo frames, to mugs, to tiny cute fake glass bottles, to more photo frames, to cards.. In the end we bought this adorable stuffed doggie(: for her. Which is not really as cute as the one I picked up for Oscar. I mean, chihuahua is the cutest dog breed alive right.

Maybe when you grew up, Lela, and a mistress to a millionaire, you would set up your own stuffed chihuahua factory filled with cute hunky factory workers.

Why not? I'll appoint you the superviser. Not! (Shit. Imprunt's sending me weird music again.. ever heard of a band 'drinkin for 11'? No? Exactly.) Talking about weird music.. Winnie is always humming weird tunes! I caught her humming those wedding tune..... you know? But she's good at origami(: She made me this artificial nails thingie which I can slip into my fingers. It looks like I've got claws! Claws with ugly blue parallel lines.. Yeh. She tore off papers from her maths book(:

Overall this week has been such a bitch. It's not a bad thing though. It's not a good thing either. The piles and piles of things to be done and the stuffs I've been trying to learn to accept and all those bada boom bada bam ba bam.. I'm running out of time. And seeing less and less of him is not helping.

I'm not desperate or anything. Seeing him walk the aisle down his class in the morning is one of those things that helps me kick start the day. You may cringe. But to me it's like when you're studying and you're all worked up and then you hear your favourtie song on air.. You know? It kind of perks you up.

At the same time, you will also feel like smashing the radio because it's such a distraction.....

Wow.

Sorry. One of my poet's block. You know me.

I should stop here. Aight. I'm stopping here. Won't blog anytime soon, I'm afraid. Yeh. I need to concentrate on my finals. At least I must try to. So. Later. Bye you.

Hi! Hahha! Ooh. Weee!! I don't know where to start! Hahha. I sound very erm, extra chirpy for a girl whose major exams are coming in less than 2 weeks time(: and who hasn't really start any major mugging yet. Yes. Yet. I will start, as soon as I finish updating and filling you guys in with what's up and what's down.

I seriously don't know where that came from.. Anyway! I've been a good girl this past few days. I've been aying back those days that I didn't fast. You know? You know(: I've got two more days to go. Wee!! I'd have just one more day if I hadn't.. ermm, break my fast halfway that Monday. Hahha. Hehhe. Shh.

Let me share you an interesting fact: the only lesson which I never ever fall asleep in is Miss Khai's Social Studies. Not that I enjoy her lessons hahah(no offence la yerh because i don't enjoy any lessons in school so don't need to feel insecure or anything hhehh).

You see, we do a lot of copying suring Social Studies. Lecture notes can fill up a whole truck and the amount of pen ink used altogether can cause serious flooding...(?) Anyway yeh. What keeps us awake is that lots of amount to bulls we have to write(:

Oh! Yesterday, Miss K was painstakingly trying to explain to us some stuff about 'pre existing conditions versus catalyst'.. and she used this example; "A man suffered from cancer. And one day, he got knocked down by a car. What's the 'significant' reason for his death?" or something like that la. Hahha. But we gave the wrong answer. "It's the cancer, okay class? He would have still died because of it even if he wasn't knocked down. That's the pre existing condition--"

Knowing my class, we weren't easily convinced. Haha. So we argued with, "But the car shortened his life" and "Cancer can be cured!!". And Miss K suddenly said defiantly that okay fine then the guy had terminal cancer. And what Suhandy retorted back next made me laugh. "Terminal cancer still can walk around the street!" Okie now laugh. Hahah. Hahahhahahah..

And today's lesson was pretty fine. In a middle of copying down this structured essay question, Valencia suddenly voiced out, "Miss Khai. We only see you twice a week. And already you used up all our ink." I was, eh how true! Haha. And our teacher went like, "This is called, making full use of my period." "No. This is called making full use of our pen ink," was Valencia's reply. But it seemed only I was appreciating her solemn humour.... No one laughed, or snickered a little or something. Whoa okie.

Hannan really pissed Mr Chan off today(: Chan was severely pissed off with Hannan today. He kept throwing fake kicks at his desk and saying, "Bugger la youu. Spoil my lesson onlyy." It was kind of funny at first. But after that it was crazy. He was still going on even after 5 minutes. Gee. (:

And Winnie had got the hiccups attack during his lesson(: Which what kept me awake the whole period. Haha. Thanks! I have this love hate thing going on with that fatass Winnie(: Sometimes I just love her, other times I'm like, ugh you're breathing my air you ass.. Hah. Oh well. Hahha.

She looked pretty tensed, that Winnie. And she went 'hic' every 30 seconds. Then I told her to hold her breath. She did. And she was fine. And then it started again. This time, loud and explosive kind of. Hahaha. Chan wasn't pleased(: He gave Winnie that 'i don't like you' look and grimly said, "Your presence is being felt.." Hm. Haha. I don't know. But I like the way that sounds(:

Class photo! Ah! .. but the informal kind of alright la. I hate the candid special thingie.. Hahha. Sakura had shoved me off hard and therefore that 'Oufff that hurts!! I'm telling my momma!' expression in my face(: Ah-thank-you. I didn't really get to see the photo thoroughly yet. Hahha. Because Miss K was rushing us off.. And I seriously needed to get home.

Went to purchase this Geography book with Sriee. Spent hours looking for The One. Hahha. Then we went to get some stuff for Nurul J very very belated birthday haha. 23rd June. Hahhahaha. Well. Not we la. Just Sriee. I bought cats food, plenty to last for 2, 3 weeks?

My Mackie went to the vet that Monday. Got to thank Shafiq who brought him there actually(: He came over all the way from Woodlands in the morning and because of it, he was late for school.. Aww(((: What we'd do without him. Anyway. Yeh. There's worms in Mac's stomach or something ): and the walls of his intestines almost got eaten by those bloody worms. Fudge you, wormies! Of all other stuffs to feast on..... And all his medicines and stuff had cost us an outstanding $70.

If I lose Mac, I don't know what I will do.

Norine's birthday is coming! Tomorrow! 23 September! And so is Theodore's and Dicky's! Wow. Three in one day(: Really cool. Happy advanced you guys!!!! Now I need to break my fast. Ehhehe. Yay.

Later.


Ahhha. Don't ask me about yesterday's entry(: You guys go figure it out yourself. Hahaha. I can imagine the look on your faces when you read it. Ahhahah. There's plenty where that came from.. ;) Hope you will be looking forward to it. Because you know I am. Writing it, that is. Err yeh.

I'm a baaad person. No, this has nothing to do with the entry yesterday(: Anyway. Yeh. I'm a bad person. Take it from me, I am. You think I'm very obedient, very hardworking, very sweet--okie I am sweet haha--very studious etc.. hey guess what. I'm not(:

I don't know why I'm telling you these. But I feel I should. You know. I need to get it out of my system. And you need to get it through your head(:

I am not what I seem I am! What you see is not necessarily what you get. I am not very clever, or smart. I'm here where I am now because of the many million mistakes I made and learnt from(haha and also the even more stupid mistakes my friends made.. I learnt from those as well) and the meaningful experiences I have faced; both good and bad.

Am I a good or a bad girl?
I'm a good bad girl.

I'm bad because of many many reasons, which is stupid to put them here since it's so obvious. And even if it's not, I don't want to ruin my so-called good-girl image(: Serious. Those who don't know me well enough, thinks I'm a good girl.. not that I'm complaining(:

I'm a bad daughter to my momma, a bad granddaughter to my grandpar, the worst daughter ever to my late dad(and the last), a terrible older sister to my sibs, a bad student to Mr Goh and Mrs J and Cikku Majidah and practically all the teachers who ever taught me(except for Chengz haha).. Erm. What else? Oh yes. The main thing. I'm a bad, bad, bad friend to well, all my friends.

And what makes me a good bad person?
It's because I'm trying to change and become better.

I'm much more understanding towards my momma.. I used to cover my ears, and roll my eyes alot behind her back when she nags. I'm more understanding in a way that I know it's not easy being a single mother trying to raise up 2 teenage girls and 1.... very bloody irritating 10-year-old daughter. So I try to lighten her burden by making sure I clean up after myself, and sometime my sisters'. And, you know, run simple errands around the house.. But I'm lucky I have my grandpar with me((: But I know I cannot depend on them all the time....

I'm a terrible irresponsible sister!!!! I'm always picking on them. And I'm always influencing them with bad stuffs. It's through me that now they've picked out vulgarities and obscenities): It's bad, especially when in front of relatives and my 10-year-old sister blurt out that f word and all the aunties will pretend to feel sorry for us that our younger sister is behaving in such manner, but actually they are like, "Oh wait till the others hear about this!"

It's hard la, with my sisters.

I feel last time I've been a shitass friend. Two years ago, I've got a closed buddy who once called me a hypocrite. I don't know what I've done to her.. I wish to know. But. Oh well. Yeh. Dang. I was a bitch to my friends, even if they didn't seem to realize. Or maybe they did but they loved me anyway(: ..Nahh.

I bitched a lot. I was one hell of a backstabber. I said one thing to her, but said another whole different thing to another. Yes. I was wikid. I keep saying was. What, now I'm not? I don't bitch? I don't gossip?

I'm not perfect la. I do bitch. Just healthy bitching...? Haha no strike that. I refrain myself from talking behind people's back. Talking nasty stuffs, that is. But if you ever hear me talking about someone, it's either I mean it goodnaturedly, or if it's a guy, then I simply just think he's uber cute(:

I don't have anything against people gossiping or anythng. A lot of my friends gossip hahaha. Sometimes I tend to listen a bit here and there. Then I will most likely shrug it off and turn to Sriee to tease her about her hair or something(:

Wahh. You think, wahhh Lela has a heart of gold aar. Hahahahhahahahhaha. I'm flattered but hahahhahahhahahha. You think it's easy to ignore those juicy gossips!? It's not. It takes a lot of strength to keep your mouth shut and not joining in the gossipy fun.

One more thing, I used to be very sensitive. One tiny thing, and I would go ballistic. Now.. I'm cool. Okie la. Maybe I will still go a little crazy. And then I'll settle down and yeh. Serious. Try me.

Just this morning I got Sakura practically yelling at me and diving for my throat(she said I was vain and I shouldn't care what others think, just like her.. so I said back, that figures.. you should consider what others think of you sometimes and then she got all fed-up because I bet she knew I was right and she hated it). Then she apologized and all I said was, "It's okay. I understand why you felt that way." And I really do.

I think I'm more quiet now too!!! A little bit la. I'm still as crazy and corny, full-of-shit-and-baloney and funny(hopefully). But then you will find me to myself, keeping hush hush and won't probably breathe a word unless you say something. I'm doing less busybodying too. Haha. Now I tend to leave you alone with your own thoughts and mine with mine and will probably hum Thunderbirds to myself to past the time.

You think I'm being cocky or arrogant. Well I guess in a way I am la. But I'm just finding my space, or I don't want to look for trouble haha. Takmao carik pasal.. You want to tell me, tell me. You don't, I'm cool. I respect your secrecy and now please piss off because now I've mix-up the chorus to Thunderbirds. All thanks to you.

Hannan 'accused' me of having a split personality. Heh. What does he know? "One minute you're lela who's normal and another you're lela who lends money to robbers." Hahha. Like I said before, you decide. You decipher who I really am.

Then again, it won't be necessary that you can get that one right(:




-dustball rolls by.

It's so quiet in here. But do not fear because lelaaa is in the house! In-chaarged(Well. Duh. This IS my blog.) and insaane! -shows butt.

Ha ha. Trust me to come up with corny introductions. I'm corny. Must have been consuming too much cheese. But I love cheese. I wish I invented it. Invented cheese? Haha.

Let me try to recall yesterday..

Well. We had English with Mrs O. We did report. Boring. I was hoping we would continue with our newsletter, which is seriously not going anywhere!! I want to do newsletter! I've got this really cool idea for our poster and I can't wait to tell Sakura and Hannan about it. Actually I've told Sakura.. but she probably wasn't attentive. So I'm going to tell her about it all over again and hopefully they'll think it's nAStY.

Bio after that with Mrs J. I don't know what's with her... She's always mixing up our names. I mean, fine you don't know our name. But that doesn't mean you can MaKE UP some dumb names for us and replacing our name with another name that springs to your head.. And whats with the screaming?! )':

I quoted this off her(Mrs J, who uses this laser pen thingie to point to the words on the screen):"If I happen to flash the laser in your direction, just yell."

Amaths after that. And then we had recess. Then Physics. Had test, which I did pretty badly. Mr Chan, pure evoil! Hahhah. It was raining when we were about to start the test and he went like, "The sky cries for you, because it knows you all are going to faaail." And when we all got pretty pissed off at him, he got pissed off at us back! "What?! Cannot take joke already? We're all jokers here, alright? Don't lieee to yourself." Yeh, Chan. Yeh. (:

Geography! I didn't bring my specs. And Miss Tan was writing down clues and stuffs and I was practically crying at the last row of the ava place erm thingie because I couldn't read a single word. Then I got Suhandy(being the Geog rap, he thinks it's fine for him to walk about.. I think so too!) to copy down some stuffs for me.

And as he was scribbling down painstakingly and I was just sitting back and 'shake leg', I felt really nAsTy..... This week is supposed to be Bully-Free. (But Sakura keeps insisting it's Bully-Sriee. LOL.)

After school, went Sunny with Nana and Qah. I didn't plan to rent a book because I erm.. still haven't finish reading mine yet hahha. So I ended up renting this really awesome totally hilarious book. And it's not even 10 bucks! Wow! I'm going to do a review of this book so if you guys are not interested, you can skip the next paragraph. Or maybe you can just climb up your fridge and stay there(:

This book isn't an ordinary book. The author, which I can't remember who and I dont' have the book with me it's somewhere on my bed I really don't feel like getting it because I'd rather sit here and uh not getting it, did not narrate the story, but made it into some kind of a

Okay you know what? Forget it. Because I seriously can't find the right words to explain it to you vermins. And it's in the middle of the night and I don't want to use my brain right now. It's stupid. It's Friday for cripe's sake. WHAt wAS I THINKinG!?

Never ever go to Sunny with Nana, unlike Qah, who knows what she wants(she has probably made a list at home of what type of book to get haha but then again, this whole thing was really unplanned..). Nana will only get a book that 1)is not in a blue cover, 2)if it's super thick, 3)font must be crazy small and lastly 4)CHEAP!!!

But thing is, if it's too cheap, she won't want it either. And every book she sees, she will go, "Eh! I've always wanted to read that!" And Qah and I will go 'nOoOoOoo!' I won't be surprised if the 3 of us got banned from that bookshop(: In fact, I'll be counting on that.

Anyway. Hahha. I broke Qah's heart yesterday(: Sorry ar. Haha. It wasn't like I planned it or anything. This is what happens when you have older pretty female cousins who think they're little cousin here is not pretty enough. What I'm saying? We were just stoning and then one of them went like, "Eh! Let's makeover!"

You know I hate changes. Okie. I don't hate. I just don't favour changes. Especially when they're done on me. The last time I let them near my face, they really put it to fullest advantage..... And then they made me wear crazy clothes and made me parade out for them. It was nAStY, in a way. Even though they complimented that I looked good and stuff, it just really showed that before the 'makeover', I was dead ugly and my face seemed like it was run over by a truck and that I was as sexually attractive as mould.

You never know. Relatives.. -rolls eyes.

So yeh. Anyway. They decided another makeover. This time, they wanted my hair. I told them, baaad idea. And they said, the only thing that is bad, darling, is your hair. And I went @&#*%.. And they suggested, shaving it. Turned out they were talking about hairs on my legs. Not my head. I was relieved for a while. And then I panicked. So. There. Too late.

HAhahha. Qah went "OMG" at me and made the netball girls jump. -salutes. Ehehhe.

That was yesterday which I didn't blog because I was watching Singapore idol(I knew my Sly would get it!! I love him! He's the cutest most specialest little thing! After Christopher Lee, that is.) and then after that I gave Umeya a ring. A call, that is.. We talked... And tried calling up Nurool. But she wasn't home): Then I did a little Amaths. By then it was almost midnight. Sorry. You didn't need to know that hhaha.

Todaaay.. Early in the morning and Nina was already picking a fight with me. My 14 year old sister, whose name really is Elena(Lina for short) but only now I realized I've been calling her Nina instead.. So yeh. We fought. And she asked for her ugly blue converse bag back. Pfft. Like I wanted it myself.

I don't want it. I nEeD it. My old bag is torn. But lucky it's a Friday! Not much books to carry so yehh.. Pfft. How I'm going to survive on MOnday with that bag, I don't know.. But I'll pass.

Amaths.. Then English. And then Geography. And then it was recess. And then two periods of Emaths which was like pure torture. Haha. Except that moment when Mr Goh got this red fancy envelope out and showed it to the class. He said it's a wedding invitation.... "My friend's wedding. You know? My friend who I've been liking so long.... siann. -mumbles crap in Chinese."

And most of the kids in class were like, "Awwww.." Until Mr Goh smugly added, "And I've got an invitation for those to come for Emaths remedial next Tuesday." Aiseyhh men.. Dennie, Dennie. Haha.

Sriee passed me a note during his lesson. GoOD! I needed something to keep me awake. So I was scribbling back a reply when suddenly Mr Goh got up to me and was practically begging me to put it away and try to attempt question 27.. He had his hands clasped together, you know? And Winnie and I were like, "Err.. okie fine. Whatever makes you happy.."

Watched The Terminal after school with Twinz, Sriee and NurulJ at Lido. Muahahhahahha. Wanted to catch Garfield at first... but nah. The Terminal rocks. I'd watch it again(: Tom Hanks rules. And Lido 2 is simply heeeuge la. So comfortable..

Eh. Can I ask a question? If I were to write and publish a book, would you buy?? Or rent, in Nana's case haha. Or steal. Or borrow. Whatever. WOuld you reeaaad? And then send me cool gifts because you just love my work?

OKay sorry forget I ever said those. Haha. Cocky, Lelaaaa..

Night, world.

I've forgotten to mention one major thing yesterday....Oh man. How did I fucking forget?! How could I? Well. I don't know. You want me to remember something I've apparently forgotten? Stupid question from a smart girl(Shut up. Stop laughing. Okiee fine! Make it 'supposedly-smart' girl. Hah.) But sTiLL! How could I forget my own anniversary!!

Whoops.

I meant as in, my blog anniversary. Haha. Yeh. My bLoG tUrnS a FucKIng oNE YesTeRDay!! ..(: It's the 396th entry not including this one. HAH. Lovely number. Let me see anyone beating that. Muahahahhahahah. I'm a blog whore. And so much more. (HAHAH. WHoooa. That is so spontaneous. I hope it's original. If not, heh. I swear it's purely coincidental.)

Hehheheh.

I got a surprise this morning. A pleasant surprise actually..(: See, I know it's all cool. She's all cool((: I'm so proud of her. And flattered by her. She is too kind. Haha.

Social Studies was a killer! Miss K made us copy and copy and copy so much, my hand aches. Like playing tennis yesterday isn't torture enough. Don't get me wrong. I love tennie(: It's so fun. Haha. But hey, I was sick awright. So I wasn't playing right.

Stupid me always missing the ball. Stupid me didn't see the ball coming most of the time and everyone was furious and went like, "LELAAAA!!" I bet if I weren't ill, they would have whack me up with the tennis racket. And that stupid bouncy tennis ball always disappearing into the drain and then got all dirty and wet and gross and no one wanted to touch it. Poor Mr Chia(:

Why am I talking abt PE? PE was yesterday. Talk todaay!

I'm fasting(: Oh shit and I was swearing vulgarities!!!!! Oh ff...fishandchips.. ): I'm a terrible person. If I'd die right now, I'd be sent straight to hell. No questions asked.

Anyway. I'm fasting(: Sriee, Sakura, Sadako and I. Wah. Dah planned dah. Don't pwray pwray!! Muahahhaha. I'm planning to blog as much as crazy till it's time to break my fast. If not then I'll just call Sriee up and kaciao her. But it always ended up the other way round. Yeh.. But it's much more fun that way.

Oh anyway. I know Sriee won't be reading this but I'd really really like to thank her! She helped me out with malay assignment which was due yesterday.. But I didn't have a malay dictionary at home. Pathetic? Tell me something I don't know... So I called her up and she helped me find out the meaning of every single word I didn't know. WHich is, quite amusingly, everything. Thank you, Srieeeee!!

Agaain. That was yesterday. Talk today, Lelaaa.

Erm. School today was draggy. Crazy draggy. It was crazy. Okay. That's it about today!

I text Summieee!! AHh! After so long..... Miss his ass. Well. I just.. I was bored. Then I just text him. Wishing him all the best for prelims. WHich is totally dumb since prelims started pretty long ago....? I'm dumb. But I don't care. Because I know Summie's cool with it. He's equally dumb(: Hahha. He replied with a.. well. Ahh! Hahha. Hee. No wonder I used to dig him(: EHhhe. Shhhhh. Careful. I might just. All over again....

6.44pm. Oh well. Nothing else to say. For now. I think I should go and look for my NYAA booklet thingie, which should be around here somewhere just that I couldn't find it. Or couldn't be bothered to find it. It's the same thing actually.. not. But Who cares la yeh?

Noratiahh sucks! HA HA. Actually she's cute la she. She was asking me what's a suitable name for a cafe. Said it's for her cooking assignment. But I told her, nuh uh I'm fasting I don't want to listen to that c word. And then she was like smiling and 'OK!' And the next minute, gabbled on and on about this ice cream she ate.....

Ooh. Busted. I love busted. Anyway I've made up my mind. James Bourne's the cutest!! Because I think he's got the best vocals. And he's always pulling Jim Carey faces in that Thunderbirds music video. Cute. Oh. Talking about cute. There's Charmed! Drew Fuller rocks!!

Ouf. Stupid mosquito bite.

Can't wait till this Saturday!

Don't be mad please stop the hating.
Just be glad that they'll be waiting..
Friends we have are ever changing
you know the lids about to blow
when the thunderbirds are go~

T-birds kickass~
Haha!

If only superheroes really do exist.
It'll be super cool.
Well. Superheroes who dig shorties like me.. (HA HA!)
Superheroes who thinks my klutziness is a turn on.
Superheroes who look like Tom Welling.
Superheroes whose voice like that James from Busted(I still cant make up my mind who is cuter; James, Matt or Charlie!!! Ehhhe. But I lu-r-ffff James' voice.. Just think you should know.. ehheh.)
Superheroes who stutter like Gareth Gates..?
Ahha. That'll be really cute.
MY superhero.
Obviously.
My taste.. different.
Wait. Put "" for different.
Yeh(:

ANYWAY!!!!~

My flower girl Asilaaa..
I was absent la yesterday. Hahhaha.
At least SomEOnE noticed. Hahhaa.
Makes my absence.. what, worthwhile, knowing someone missed me.

Okay. Only kidding(:
Hahha. I can imagine Asila going, ..
Actually, I can't.
Haha.

Yeh I was absent yesterday.
First day of term 4. And I was having a little fever.
Coincidence?

Up to you. Haha.
All I know is that I wasn't the only one!
My Nanawati was absent too! HAHA!!
And My Aspho got her mom to pick her up
during recess because she wasn't feeling quite well..
Flu, is it? Ehhe.
Ahhaha.
The three of us roooccck!
We do, we do! You know deep down we do..

Awright.. Shh.

What's up today?
All I can remember is
how excruciatingly exhilarated my class was
when Miss Khai walked in and announced,
"My laptop crashed. And so today's SS make-up lesson after school is cancelled."

(:
Life's good.

Remember those lists of stuffs I had a couple of days ago? Uh huh? Uh huh. Yeh. TThe one you guys read and went like, "Pfft. Like she's ever going to get all those done. HAH." Yeh! That's the one. AHha. This is the one..

What I want to achieve..
(at least for this whole week)
start mugging for humanities!`
finish reading all those rented books!!`
make sure all assignments are done.`
tidy up my room.`
get presents for momma.`
go over Sakura's to fill her in
on what taught that day during Amaths.
(or just call her up and ask whaddup.)`
call nurool.`
tidy up my room.`

So it's nearly the end of the week. Let's see what I've done so far...

start mugging for humanities!`
Check! Well. I did mugged Geography. One pathetic chapter. That's better than nothing. I did planned to revise a bit for Social Studies but I couldn't bring myself to. At least I tHOUgHT of it. Like they say; it's the thoughts that count. Haha. So it's okay. I don't know. I'm not sure. But if I keep telling myself that, I won't worry. Much. Next!

finish reading all rented books!`
I finished reading the shopoholic books(: .... should be okay. Check!

Assignments!!!!!`
I did English. And a bit of Emaths. A bit of Biology. I'm left with a lot more of Emaths, and a lot of Biology. Oh. And Geography. And Amaths. And.. shit. Malay. But hey. I completed my English(: So. Check!

Tidy up my room..`
Well.. I changed the bedsheets and the pillows. And I cleared the dusts off the fan. What else did I do.. Well. Right now as I'm typing this, I'm kicking this stupid peice of KitKat Chunky wrapper under my table. That's tidying up too. And I've piled up all my books on one corner.. and another pile on another corner.. oh. My sis did that actually.. Well. Did I sweep the floor? It looks alright. So there's no need. Ha. So. Check.

Presents all set and done. Days ago. Pfft. Haha. And I've called Nurool and I've called Sakura. And.. yeh. All done. Haha. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. And you guys didn't think I would! Or could, whatever. But I did! Barely.. But HAHA.

Not only that, I've also done a couple of chores around the house. I did the laundry, I hung the clothes outside, I helped my grandmom with the cooking, I cleared the litter box. Wait. I do that all the time. No haha. I don't.

So I'm lazy. Ladiduhh. And I'm also stupid. I wouldn't have to do all those chores if I hadn't get my youngest sister to make a birthday card for momma.... a birthday card?? More like.. a deal card or something. ..

Inside she wrote stuffs like; we promise to obey you if you would stop nagging at us. we promise to do well if you would.. well. stop nagging at us. Or something equally dumb! Don't she get it? This whole thing is ironic. Momma nags at us BEcAUSe we don't obey her, not because she nags for the sake of nagging..~

Or is it? ..

Anyway. I shouldn't worry. This won't last(: Once school starts(tOMorRoW!), and everyone's on their busy mode or whatever, there's no such thing as chores. Or at least, it's understandable why chores are left undone. I mean, with lots of studying to do... yeh.

Haha. Right..

(:

Early in the morning and I was up.
My momma and I went SGH for my erm.. checkup..?
Actually I was supposed to go bloody months ago.
But I didn't know.

At least that was what I was rehearsed to say.
Just in case they asked.

Turned out they didn't.
Turned out they're nice people(:
Very easy-going.
Especially that doctor who checked my backbone.
He's kind of cute.

Or maybe I was just desperate that time.
Or I was so nervous, my brain got all wonky.
Ha. Haha.

I should start from the beginning.
Haha. Yes. I should.
I think the whole thing was pret-tie fun.
Going from room to room, seeing doctors to doctors..
Haha. I'm not kidding.
The nurses rock.
I think I should consider being one.
When I grow up, that is(:

The place is huge.
Yeh. Just think you all should know.
Knew it all along, huh?
Okie just checking.

I would be lying if I tell you guys
I wasn't scared. Because I was la.
Mayeb not scared. Just a little nervous.
I hate hospitals.

But this was totally different.
I got my number and waited.
It was so fast, I didn't have time to you know.. say a little prayer.
Haha. Right.
Makcik there was nice.
I felt a little relaxed(:

Then we had to wait some more.
Room 21. I found out we have to take off our shoes.
And I got all nervous all over again.
Haha.
Silly me.

I got in.
At first I wanted to drag momma long.
But then the mother before us got kicked out......
Which made me even more nervous haha.

Greeted by this friendly looking makcik.
What's with the makciks anyway?
As in, alot of nurses there are malays.
Anyway yeh.
Nurse Makcik was like, "Meh come closer."
I realized I hadn't move a step.
I was still standing by the door.
So I made my way to her and stood next to her instead.
She looked at me and I looked back at her.

"Sit down," was what she said in malay.
Oh. Of course.

She asked me some stuffs.
Then she checked my height.
I'm 0.3cm taller. -smirks.
Then she checked my weight.
I think my phone made me heavier.
If that's possible?
Then she checked my posture...?
I don't know.

And then I was done!

Haha. No. That was just the beginning.

I was sent to another room.
I pulled momma in with me.
And regretted it.
Because this time it's a male doctor.
Muahahhahha.
-sneaky sneaky.

Kidding.

But it is a male doctor la.
Yeh. He's that cute one.
Because I've always thought, typically doctors are...
middle-aged, almost bald, and simply not goodlooking.
At least that's how my family doctor looks like.
Hahahahhaha.

ANYwAY!

Cute doctor questioned about my posture.
"Backaches?"
"Nada."
"When you walk, do you slouch?"
"No." (He asked momma this, but I answered it for her. I bet she was mesmerized by the young doctor as well.)

And I can see he was a little flustered?
Because then.. what am I doing here if I'm fine!?

Then he used this special ruler to measure .... my back...?
Oh my gosh I'm clueless.
Hahha.
But yeh. It seemed like that.
I was a little worried when he lifted my shirt up a little.
Dang I should have put on a nicer bra.

LMFAO.

Kidding.
Hope no one got grossed out there.
((:

He said it was slightly curved.
And he sent me to another doctor to get my back x-rayed.

X-RaY!?!?!

Jeng jeng jeng.

I don't do Xrays.
The last time I see an Xray(my dead cat nike's),
it wasn't good news.

The next thing I knew, I was talking to this another nurse, who kept asking me unnecessary embarrassing questions.
And in the end, we had to pay her like 15 bucks.
She laughed a little at my totally gobsmacked face.
"To check if or not you're pregnant," she explained vaguely.

I stared at my momma as if screaming, "Omigosh can you believe her!?
Of course I'm not pregnant!! kjsdhfhj agfjj asff haoew! She can just aaaasked riight?!"

I guess I was scared.

Another nurse handed me this long green robe thingie.
"Make sure you take out everything underneath except your underwear," she said.
"Singlet, bra, necklace if you have-"
Gee, I hear ya. I know what 'underneath everything' is.

I felt funny wearing that..
I didn't want to get out of the changing room.
Fucking shit.
But I had too.
Because there was others lining up outside to change.
Well. Good.
I wasn't the only one having to wear it.
Haha. Ha.

I'm actually a pretty honest gal.
When I'm feeling something, I'm not afraid to show.
As in, I won't deny it. (I think.)
My unbelievable mother, on the other hand, takes this opportunity to embarrass me.
Thank you, momma.
You're the best.

Then this i-duno-how-he-looks-like-cos-im-'fraid-to-look-at-him male doctor called out my name, and everyone there just turned to look as I made my way into the room.
Great.
Well.
At least he got my name right.

Haha.
The Xray part was.. fast.
Not bad.
A breeze.
I can do a million of Xrays without complaining.
Or without freaking out.
I guess.

I was practically skipping back to the changing room.
COuldn't wait to change back to my black and faded, catfur-infested shirt and jeans.
I've never felt so comfortable in them before.
Haha.

I got the Xray results which I had to send it back to that cute doctor.
WOohoo. Haha.

I knocked, went in, and beamed.
He flashed my Xray up.
And I froze.

Wait let me finish that.
I froze in awe.
I was like, shit is that my heart!? Wow.
But what really got my attention was my backbone.

It seemed..
I don't know....
I guess one word to use is...
straight.

That's right.
It seems pretty straight to me.

So what am I doing here, again?

Turned out my backbone's fine(duh).
"But just that your muscle is bigger than the other," cute doctor said.
And I went, omigawd.

He asked, "You exercise?"
"Of course."
"What form?"
"Sit-ups. Push-ups? I don't know."

Just fucking tell me it's nothing serious.

"You use too much of your right side, and-"
babble babble babble.
and then..
"You're fine. Don't worry.
It's nothing serious or anything.
Just make sure when you exercise, you use both-"
babble babble babble.

I don't caaare, cute doc.
I was too relieved to care(:
But I still think you're cute though.

I told momma the news.
She was relieved too.
I bet she got sick of telling me to
sit up straight and stuff....
Seriously, I was sick of it too(:
I'm fine now!

We went to have lunch.
Then we went a little shopping.
Momma saw this jeans she liked.
And she was like, "I'm going to try it on."
I didn't know when she said try on, she meant she was going to try it on
right there at that spot.

"Ma!!! Crazy ar!?"
"What? I'm just going to slip it on..."

Thank God for that lady person, who practically had to usher momma to the changing room(:

Went home happy people.

I'm listening to The Show by Girls Aloud, if you want to know.
The lyrics rock. Hahha.
It's a girls song(duh?) and about staying a virgin.
I think?
I mean, how should I know all these crap?
EHhehe. I just think it's really catchy.

Shoulda known, shoulda cared,
shoulda hung around the kitchen in my underwear
Acting like a lady
shoulda made me oh
shoulda jumped a little high
shoulda fluttered my mascara like a butterfly
instead of being lazy
it woulda saved me

someone save my heart today
will someone turn the light back on?
cos ever since you went away
the other rights just feel so wrong

that special something, that they are hunting
theyre always wanting more and more
that special something, that they are hunting
theyre always wanting more and more

nobody sees the show
until my heart says so
if its not you oh no
i wont do that
boy if you want to be my speciality
youll have to wait for me and that is that

Hello.

I'm.
Bullshit.
Guilty.
Busted.

I rock.
Or so I kept telling myself.
Almost fooled myself.
Im a fool.
Definitely not cool.

And no
I didn't say that
for the sake of rhyming.

Sheesh.

Okie anything else I need to say?
Of course there is.
LoAds.
There's bloody loads I need to say.

But I think I better not say.
Don't want to go there, you sey.

No that wasn't a spelling error.
You read it right.
Sey. Haha.
I just think it's cute;
say and sey.

Okie
I'm even worst when I'm mad.

Mad?
Am I mad?
Is that it?
No.
I don't think so.
Lela is never mad.

Lela is mad.

Haha get it?
I'm not mad, as in angry mad.
I'm mad as in, crazy mad.

Shit.
I need to get a grip.
I'm losing it already.

I'm starting to trip.
I'm losing my grip
and I'm in this thing alone..
Cryinnng out loud.
I'm crying out loud..
Crying out

FUck.

Great.
Did I just sing a Lavinge song?
I need the doctor
who treats mental patients.
Ha. Ha. ha.

And a erm manicure specialist person.
My fingernails are an ugly shade of orange.
Please. Don't ask.

And bring me a handphone mechanic person.
Mechanic? Whatever.
My phone screen cracked.
My phone buttons not working right.
And its battery is flat.
I can't find the charger anywhere.
Yay.

My brain's not working right right now.
Lovely timing.
WIth exams around the corner.
ANd I haven't touch a single
fucking assignments.
Way to go, Lela.

And you say you rock?

Maybe I do la.
In my own rocking way.

Haha no. Nuh uh.
I'm not going to fall for it this time.
Not going to fall for my own crap.
Haha.

I think I better go sleep.
I'm down.

Bye, cruel world.

Im just looking around for some decent conversation
no hidden agenda no phony pretender....
It's cos I'm cool.

Is it bold?
That last phrase.
Wait I know it's in bold.
But is it bold?
Hannan says its bold.
I don't know what's bold.
No, I know what's bold.
That phrase in bold is bold.
But what does bold means?
What does Hannan meant by bold?
As in...
You know what?
Forget it.
Why am I so worked up anyway.
-looks around.
Anyone?

I know why.

Charmed is starting soon.
I haven't blog a single thing yet.
-looks at the shits I've just typed out.
Well.
That excluded.

So today I accompanied Aspho to school.
Why!??! When I should really be at home,
doing my assignments
and reading up on the works of rivers.
I'll tell you why(:

It's cos I'm cool.

No la.

ThAaat and also because
if I stay at home, I would have to bring my sis to school and I don't want that because I hate Mayflower and I don't want anywhere near that school`
to reply Tabi's letter`
i miss Peirce`
i want to do something nice for my friends`

And guess what I got back in return?
.... nothing.
Not that I'm expecting any(:
Well. Actually something did happened.
But I'm not going to mention it here.
So there.

I made a new friend. This aherm.. 1A2 girl.
I've seen her around and I didn't like her.
She was like, "Hi. Alone?"
The word 'duh' wanted to fly out of my mouth.
Do you happen to see anyone with me?
But I'm cool.
So I just shook my head
and offered her a seat.

She sat down.
She actually sat down!
I thought she would go,
"Oh I can't. My mum's waiting.
But nice to see you. You rock. Bye."
(Ha! Haha!)

But she didn't.

So then we started talking.
Actually she did the talking.
Hahha. And I listened.
I didn't mind because ahermm..
she was talking about her class.
Hahhahahahha.
Aherm.
Hehhe.

I was folding back Tabi's letter for me,
which has my name all over it,
and that 1A2 girl went like,
"Lela? Your name is Lela?!
You are Lela?!"
At first I was modest and noncholant.
"Yeh. That's me."
But she still had that incredulous look on her face,
like as if I just told her
there was a bomb in the school
right underneath where she was sitting.

"I know a guy named Lela," she said.

And then I was my turn to look totally ridiculous,
as if she just said the bomb had
magically shifted and now it was
directly under my nose.

Then I started laughing
omg this girl is funny.
Everyone knows Lela is a girl's name.
I laughed some more when she told me
she was going to do a research on my name.

Doll. The only thing you can find out is that
it's a beautiful name for beautiful people.
Period.
No make that beautiful female name.

Haha of course I'm kidding(:
She can do all the researches she wants.
She can never find a guy with the name Lela.

Felt bad because she's actually not bad la.
She just talks too much.
Not that I mind.

Then she left.
Just as soon as Aspho texted me.
Then we waited for Nana.
While waiting, there was this SPCA ad
with dogs and cats and hamsters and all.
Very interesting. Hahahha.
These people named their pets like humans.
Nupp, I have nothing against it though((:
I think it's cute.
Imagine calling a cat 'Matthew'..
Or calling a big black dog 'Lulu'.
Hahha. You get me.

The three of us had lunch at ph.
Did some talking.
I felt so much better
after letting it all out of my system(:

Met up my sis at J8.
Screw her la.
I had to wait so fucking long.
In the end, she called up screaming,
"Ah! I lost my wallet~"

Why do I have a feeling she's just making it up?
Like that time she kept saying
she left my Dicsman in her school locker
and I suspected she lost it
which she did..
So yeh.
Lost your wallet?
Come oNnnnN~

I was so mad at her I couldn't talk to her.
I hung up on her and sent her an sms.
"Yeh you're going to lose an arm
if you don't get your filthy butt down here."
I did alot of swearing.

I also did alot of wandering.
Not inside J8 window shopping wandering.
Outside J8 actually.
I walked around J8.... literally.

I tried calling Nurool
but no one picked up.
So I called Sriee.
Haha Sriee sounds cute on the phone.
Then I called up momma for fun.

Actually I didn't know where I was going.
I just kept on walking.
And I ended up back in J8.
How weird. Hahha.
Like all these while I was walking in circles.
In one very lonnnng circle.
Long circle?
I meant .. round circle?
I don't know.
FOrget it.
Haha.

SIster flooded my inbox with apologies.
Pfft. And I mean seriously flooding.
Could not be bothered with her.
Until she said: "I'll treat you. Promise!"
So while I waited some more,
I came up with a list of things I wanted.

She bought me cookies from Mrs Field.
And an orange hair band which costs a freaking buck.
Pfft. I showed her my attitude.
And she showed me hers.
Hello? In case you forgot, you sucker,
you made me wait for you for hours~

Totally forgotten why we were there at J8.
Remembered tomorrow is momma's birthday.
Wanted to get her a pair of shoes
but seriously.. it's not easy.

My sister suggested good results for momma's present.
A cliche. I mean, go ask a mother what she wants
from her daughter for her birthday. I don't know,
but my mother would say, 'bring home good results.'

But you see.
That's the thing.
My results are baaaad.

We went back home empty handed.
Well not really haha. I've got cookies~
But that's not the point.

Tomorrow first thing in the morning,
we're going to go get something for her.
I don't know. Just something. ANything.

Forget about shoes.
Which shop opens so early in the morning seh?
I want something that's cheap, yet .. nice
and easy to get and .. cheap..? Hahha.

Anyway I've noticed alot of boys have
that (f)lower icon in their msn nicks..
Shannon, Hafeesh, Dart, Theodore
and this guy I never knew I had in my contacts.
What gives?
Coincidence? Most likely.
But still~ It amuses me.

Oh hey yo.
That's it.
Flowerrrrr~
Oh.
Ohhhh~
Hehhehehhe.

These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

Qahqah! That song's for youuu!
The chorus of These Words by Natasha Bedingfield.

The song rocks!
I love that part where she goes,
"I love you, is that okay?"
It's really.. it's like..
so wise and kind of poignant
it almost brings tears to my eyes.

It's lovely.

Not because there's some..
nasty hidden meaning or anything.
And not because I'm thinking of that cute guy I saw.
Or (as a matter of fact)any other cute guy
that I've once come across..
Just feel like doing something nice for my friends.
You know me.

Alright alright.
You knew me.
Busted.
SOmething's wrong with me.
Dont' know what.
But something is.

But it's a good thing right.
Not like I'm beating people up for no reason.
Hahha.

I've did Plate Tectonics(:
One down. 5 more chapters to cover.
Actually there's alot more.
But I'm just focusing on those more important ones
which will most likely to come up.
Hopefully.
That's what Miss Tan says.
So far she has never let us down.
Let's hope this time won't be an exception.

What I want to achieve..
(at least for this whole week)
start mugging for humanities!`
finish reading all those rented books!!`
make sure all assignments are done.`
tidy up my room.`
get presents for momma.`
go over Sakura's to fill her in
on what taught that day during Amaths.
(or just call her up and ask whaddup.)`
call nurool.`
tidy up my room.`

I can do it~
I had better..
I'll blog again.

I'm typing this funny because
I've just painted my nails
with this really hot pale pink nail polish.
The fingernails on my left hand, perfect.
On my right hand fingernails? Disastrous.

Shoot now I've got it all over my keyboard.

I had Amaths class today at 9. Dreading it.
But it had nothing to do with anyone.
It's just me myself and I.
But Theodore immediately brightened up my morning!
AHh! Hahhaha(: He had Rugby.

Miss Teo wouldn't let those late comers
into the class. She's very mean(:
And I was lucky because she only decided that
after I came. I was late.. 20 minutes late.
(Actually I wasn't. I just decided to
hang out at the bus stop first......)

Sakura couldn't come because she's got operation.
Hope everything goes well((:

Class ended at 11.
Decided to go get some stuffs for some stuff.
While Sriee and I waited for 163,
this cute guy happened to be there as well....
But too bad. He's.. yeh(:
But plus side? I know where he lives now.
Not that I need to know~
I just happened to know..
Yeh. Hahhahha.

Ahhha. Dart tagged.
After like, what?
275163728174 years?(:
Hahha. Hi, Dart~

Went Popular at Toapayoh Interchange.
Initially I just wanted to get fullscap paper.
I mean, exams are around the corners
and I've been planning to start mugging.
But I haven't got the stuffs to mug.
I need items for mugging before I actually start.
I mean, that's common sense, right?
Or else it'll be like
wanting to climb the Everest without the tent.
Or even going scuba diving without the oxygen tanks..
or something.. Yeh. You get me.

So I bought papers, highlighters,
pens and pen refills, a notepad,
a paper weight for my papers obviously
and also if my sisters come annoy me
I can just throw it at them,
an orange wrapping thingie
because most of my textbooks covers are
practically torn and dangling off
and I need to fix them,
and a Kitkat Chunky as a gift for myself
for being such an oraganized little bastard.

Then we went to Macs to get fries(:
An essential. Haha.
Sriee went back Tampines
and I went back.. home.
Journey was cold and lonely.

That Saturday, if you want to know, ___ called.
I helped her get the tabs for More than Words
and that Jet song.. But she ended up talking
and I listening to her.. I guess she was upset.
No.
She was upset.
She was distraught.
And it was my fault.
Even though she kept telling me
I have nothing to do with it.

She was bloody lying.
Of course it has something to do with me.
It has everything to do with me.

She cried. And I cried.
I didn't care that my sisters were in the room with me.
I sat there, clutching onto the receiver so hard,
my ear hurts. But it couldn't beat the fact that
my heart was tearing.
Just hearing her sobs and her trembling voice
struggling to form coherent words,
and realizing the cruel fact
that it was because of MY friends
that was making her cry.

"But whatever happens,
you will always be my baby sis."

Her last words before she hung up.
She didn't even wait for me to say bye.
The line went dead.
But I was still holding onto the receiver.
I held onto it for quite some time,
tears flowing and nose running.

I put it down eventually, frantically
trying to wipe away any traces of tears.
Then I realized how quiet the room suddenly was.
"You okay or not, sis?" my sister asked.
Sis. She called me Sis instead of my name.
I wanted to cry all over again.. haha.
I forced myself to sound cheery and bright,
"Yeh! Why wouldn't I be?!"

Hah.
I have all reason to not be.

I can't tag.
Don't know why..
So that explains why I didn't reply you guys who tagged me.
I'll reply now.. I guess.
howdy// howdy. I'd rather write. Then read. Thanks.
aSiLa// hii, gundu(: EHhehe. How's cat pee? Hahahha.
Hans// Why unlucky?! Hahha.

Because there was a minor traffic jam
at that busy road junction
exactly outside the school,
I was late.
I bet I would have reached school earlier
if I had walked instead(:
I would have burn some calories then as well.
I hope swearing burns calories though.
I did a lot of swearing during that 10 minutes.

Hah.

Amaths period ended too soon....
So was English, where I nearly died of a heart attack.
Mrs O gave us some Compre stuffs to do.
Actually it's meant for the hols.
But she advised us to start doing it.
Huh.
I wrote my name and my index number.
I darkened it and made it all curly and fancy.
I read the first sentence.
Then I got bored. And I started doodling.
And writting jibberish. Or is it gibberish?
I don't know.
And all of a sudden, Mrs O went like,
"And what is that you're writing?"

I jerked up and went, "Fuck."
And I went "fuck" again for swearing "fuck".
I turned my paper to the other side
and just smiled up at Mrs O.
Thank God she was in a good mood(:

Geography..
Miss Tan gave us hints for exams.
I am so going to start mugging(:
..
Now, I'm not saying studying is foolish.
But they say if you want to do foolish things,
do it with enthusiasm((:
I'm just saying that for the sake of saying it.

Mr Goh told us his birthday is next week.
HAHA.

Got back our report slips.
I did better than I thought I would.
....
I failed two subjects only(:

When Miss Khai called me out and
I found out that awesome news, I went,
"Alright!"
But Miss K's expression was like,
"The hell it's alright. You failed two!"

Of course it's not alright
if you said it in tHAt tone.

"Yeh. I failed two. ONLY. HAH."
I'm so proud of myself.

Quite a number ain't satisfied with their Amaths.
Some said Miss Teo didn't mark the Common Test we sat for.
Some said there's typing error.
And one said Miss Teo "is out to get us".
Hah. Guess who said that.. Hhahaha.

Hannan seemed shocked when I told him my Amaths marks.
I was shocked he was shocked.
He was also shocked that I wasn't shocked.
Therefore, making me shocked that I wasn't shocked.

"I'm not happy. Eldwen and I,
we're going to talk to Miss Teo.
About our marks. You with us?"

But I was wondering to myself,
why I wasn't shocked.
I mean, why wasn't I feeling.. I don't know,
depressed..? that I got so low.

Because it's not really that bad.
I expected lower.
But I got higher than I expected.
So it's really not that bad(:
Anyway. I deserved that low mark.
Even if I was going to follow them
go "talk" to Miss Teo about my marks,
It's not going to do much.
I'm just going to be mocked by her.

I couldn't be stuffed with Amaths.
This is what I got for being so complacent.
Period.
I've got to be responsible for my actions.
Which in this case, is a really big mistake.
Big stupid mistake.
Hah.
But I'll pass.
I'll learn.
I'll do better.

Hannan is probably popping "champaigne"
(grape flavor) and bursting balloons
because he did better than me this term(:
Again, let's look at it in a different perspective;
He didn't do better.
I just did worst.

Last week of Aitong.
It's sad to leave.
Hahhaha. Weird huh.
Initially, I was anticipating.
Couldn't wait for this agony of 'teaching'
10-year-olds to permanently stop once and for all.
Hahhah. But then..
As I stepped out of Aitong today,
my heart just sank.

This time, I didn't get pissed off
when they called me 'baboon'(:
Because strangely, I'm going to miss being called that.
I'm going to miss every one of them;
Hongsui, Si Kai, even Kay On!
Hahhaha. And that totally adorable Pri 2 kid...
Even though I just knew her.
Tan Lye Yee...? Yeh. And her sister(:

I bought this frame for 50cents from this kid.
I thought of giving it to Hongsui.
But he didn't want it.
So I gave it to that adorable 'Lychee'.
Awww.. she is so sweet looking!!
When she took the frame from my hands,
looked up at me and said thank you,
my heart just soaared((((:

You know..
I'm feeling scared right now.
Alifya used black henna to draw on some of those kids.
Black henna is not safe. Nuh uh.
I should have told them earlier
but I didn't know until
I saw this guy with black henna on his hand.

BlAcK HEnnA is NoT Saaaaafe!!!
Only use pure henna which is a colour
between orange, red, burgundy, brown or coffee.
DoN'T USe BlACk HEnNa.
Roger that.
Please..~

Phew.

My sis rented another book.
Momma found out and she got worked up.
Because all books that we rented,
are from 3 different book stores(:
I can imagine her saying,
"Couldn't you get books from the saaame store
so you can return all in one go?!"
Hah whoops.

Waaatching Anacondaa with momma on the 9th.
Because it's her birthday!
She's turning 32.

HAH.
She wish.

So many stuffs to blog,
so little time..(:
I'll try my best to make it short.
Haha short.
Since when are my entries short?
(:

It was raining in the morning.
Yes! I love rain.
I was early.
Yes! I was early.
How ironic actually..
I'm always early when I don't have to.
As in, when it rains. Yeh.
I got up the bus to school before 7.
Whoopdy-doo.

Just my luck. My bag torn(:
So I used my sis' Converse bag.
Which I hate....?
Because it's blue. Hurhur.
And because I don't do slingies.
But what the heck.
A desperate measure for a desperate situation.

Had SC erm.. 'gathering' during reading period.
What seh.
I wanted to finish up my book.
Erm. forgotten the title.
It's by this Eva person.
Journey to the Red Sea?
I don't know. But it's good(:

And I desperately want to finish it.
Because I've got so many books to read(:
Two Shopoholic books. Angie's.
Yesterday book I rented.
It's due in a month and 7 days' time.
And this other book my sis rented..
The book Nana rented yesterday too
(which took her forever to choOose!!!).
5 books. So many books.
So little time.

So much for wanting to keep it short.
Hahhahahahha.

English.. Hahha. Mrs O talked LoVE.
Love at first sight.. does it really happened?
It does, in movies.
It does, in books.
In this real cruel world?
Unlikely.

Mrs O asked Hannan what he thought of it.
Pfft. Couldn't she pick someone else more..
Reasonable? Logical? Less-sarcastic?
Hahhaha.
Yes. Hannan is unreasonable, inlogical and sarcastic(:
Hannan rocks.

Then we discussed about our newsletter.
We are the Publicity people;
Sakura, me, Hannan, Lolenzo and Suhandy.
Lolo was always going off to the loo. HAHA.
Suhandy.. a wimp. Hahhaha.
Because Hannan was there.
He doesn't want anywhere near.
I wouldn't if I were him too(:
Then again, if I were really him,
I wouldn't have start a fight with
of all people, Hannan.

So it was just the three of us.
We let our creative juice flow.
More like.. lame juice?
Hahahhaha. Okay, lame.

Our flyers are more like..
a propaganda then an advertisement...?
Because we were like, 'insulting' 3E2.
Hahhahah.
I mean, 3E2 infamous theme is 'Underwater' right?
So we thought of drawing a pond representing 3E2
and called ourselves, 3E1 On Laand.
We're not UnDer. We're above. We're on land.
..

I don't think you get it.
Good(: Keep it that way.

Poor Mrs J..
She's got a swollen.. erm. thingie in her throat.
That explains alot actually.
I mean, she screams.
Get well soon, Mrs J.
I'm really worried about her.
She was babbling on and on about it.
Her throat that is.
When the class told her to take MC today,
she said, "If I take MC but I still come,
MOE will question me. Then if I die here how?
MOE won't cover me."

-puzzled.

Recess with the lower secondary.
-grins..
Felt so.. aherm.
Superior.
Hahahhahhaha.

Excursion to that Army Open House.
B A D. Hahhahah.
But I had fun, though(:
There were many schools there.
As soon as I got to their hall,
I was like, "Oh my gosh.
Don't let me see anyone I know.
Don't let anyone I know see me.
Don't let anyone who knows me see me."

Pfft.
Fat hope.
I saw Fauzi, this gaybo back in primary school.
Actually, he saw me.
Oh gosh he still hangs out with girls.
Hhehhehe.
And I saw Pratap! Well.
At least he's somEthiNg!!
Sakura and I were like, "Eh! Pratap!!"
And he was like, "Eh! Hi!!"

There were a couple more...
Whom as soon as I saw them saw me,
I automatically turned to whoever it was nearest to me,
and lamely started a conversation with.

The part where we got onto the army truck was the best.
Lolo daaamn cute! Hahahhahha.
As sooon as he saw those fake rifles,
he picked one and started playing with it.
He aimed at Miss Khai who went like,
"Hey I'm your teacher. You'd want to think twice."

Bumpy ride. I like. Though the arse hurts.
And so did the ears.
(I pushed the earplugs a little too deep..)
I love those plugs(: Very.. convenient.
If you get what I'm trying to mean;)

ANd what's with that green little package thingie?
Obviously it's food inside.
Those army guys have those stuffs to eat..
I had Soya Peanut Dessert. Ew?
It was all.. squeeshie and squashie.
Hahha I guess duhh. It's liquid...?

The obstacle course.
Smartass me didn't wear my shorts underneath.
Actually I did la.
I had my old dirty blue Adidas shorts.
So. No way ho say(:

Bet the popular course was the free fall thingie.
And also the creepy one.
We had two casualties..):
Claire has got a swollen eye.
Apparently she crouched when she jumped
and I think she boxed herself in the eye...?
I don't know. But I know it hurts like hell.
Meiyee hurt her back.
Hers was terrifying because
we all could hear it went snap...?
But both are fine(:

Suhandy.. wimp! Hahaha.
Or like Linus said, "Pondan."
He squated and then jumped off.
Hannan and Linus suckers arh.
Such badass suckers(:
Our class was the last one to leave.
Miss K was dying (figuratively speaking)
and was trying to get us to gather.
But Linus was like, "Don't want.
We want to stay and look at them jump..
and laugh."

And when it was Amanda's turn, Hannan said,
"Did you see how stressed she look?!
Tengok muker dier.. Stressed!"
And I was like, "Sheesh. You can do a better job?"
"I'll jump face down. So no one can see
my stressed face.."
I swear I would have shove my straw up his nostrils(:

Claire and Meiyee were treated..
The rest of the class hung out at ermm..
I don't know what that place was.
Damn the drinks are expensive.
$1.50!?!? Daylight robbery!!

It started pouringg....
Stayed there longer.
Finally bus came to fetch us.

Only when we were on the way back
did we saw this really cute army guy(:
Ehehehhe. He was waving goodbye to us...
And the whole class girls(the lucky ones)
were like, "Eh. Omg. Cute!! Cute!!"

It was so cosy in the bus(:
Saw next to Weijie.
But later changed seats.
Because I couldn't sleep with a boy.
Hhahahhah.
Sat next to Noviani
whom I cuddled up with.
Journey back was heaven(:

Went Macs after that.
Had the usual stuffs.
Went back home.
Bla bla.
Here I am(:

Exactly 8.
I'm off, world.

Morning, world.
Funny.
Feeling very deep and philosophical.
Spiritual too, dare I say?
(X

Silver mentioned in her blog 2 days ago
something about Unhealthy Friendships
and that not all friendships are forever.
I couldn't agree with her more...

"a lot of people equate "aloneness" with "rejection", meaning that aloneness is the result of rejection. So to avoid being alone, one must avoid getting rejected, which leads all sorts of people to do all sorts of weird and crazy things to fit in..

Why can't people just be themselves?
Stop all these pretending at once,
you're fooling yourselves.
Yes. You. FOol.

"I think it's sad when people choose to judge, suppress and reject WHO THEY TRULY ARE for the sake of appearing "NORMAL". For the sake of going along with the societal conditionings and peer pressures..

-knock knock (your head with a hammer.)
Anybody home? Hello?!
Come out. Stop hiding, asshole.

"It takes a lot of guts to be able to stand up and say, "NO. This is ME. And if you don't agree with what I AM, it's okay, cuz' I've got every right to be WHO I AM, just the same as you. You're not forced to be with me, and neither me with you. Both you and I will just probably be better off elsewhere. Bye." ...

What have you got to lose
being yourselves?
Does it hurt?
Will you be put to death?
Will you lose your fingers
one by one?

I hope so.
That's the only excuse I'll accept.

Myz's current entry also got me thinking.
It was kind of the opposite of what Silver wrote I think
and it was written some time ago but.. yeh(:
She is so fucking right.
I wish I can go up to her
and give her a high-five and go,
"You are so fucking right."

But she's in Indonesia.....
So.. hahahha yeh.

"it hurts when people only know the exterior.
it hurts when you can't express your interior.
it hurts when people misinterpret what you feel.
just because they feel that your true interior
mismatch your exterior.

sometimes, what i appear to be, isn't what i am.
sometimes, what i feel isn't what i show.
my flesh is a hypocrite to my heart.

and many times, i try to talk it out
but there's no one there, there's no one.
and when there's someone,
it isn't someone who i can talk to.

there's no one i can talk to, because i can't.

my lips, my voicebox.. they decieve my brain.
and it hurts. it hurts so much in the chest.
and sometimes the chest moves up to the throat
and there, it'll hurt.

and i'm still alone..

everyone's busy chasing their dreams,
everyone's busy pleasing others.
everyone else has their own friends,
everyone else has their own commitments.
and my life now has become so mundane...

just tell me,
how many of us lived today better than yesterday?
i think everyone's living the same day everyday..
but everyone else is thinking otherwise.."

-sighh.
These kind of stuffs,
makes you use your brain.
And think.

But I can't think clearly now.
My bloody sister is blowing her recorder.
Like what iS iT WiTh HEr?
It's such a beautiful morning
and she's ruining it with that awful noise.
Why does she always have to do that.

Reading Silv's,
I'm thinking..
What about me?
I'm always talking about "the other".
But am I myself out there?
Or am I another pretender?

Reading Myz',
I'm thinking...
So what if I'm me?
Do other people even care?
They're going to come up with their own
assumption anyway.
Their own judgement.

Maybe the problem doesn't lie on me..
Maybe it lies on.. you?
To decipher how i really am.