ou know whats the most hateful word one can say? 'whatever'. yea. 'whatever'. irgh its so.. pisses me off. please use the word 'fine' instead, for crying out loud. thank you very much.

fine. who am i to tell you what to say, huh. haha. you might throw things at me.

emaths was last period. we knew mr goh wasnt present today. ..instead of going INto his class where sustitute mr tan was waiting(oblivious obviously), we simply walked straight passed the class ...................

(:(:(:

of course we didnt get away with it. conscience kicked in and we gave in. but you cant blame us for trying. its the second day of school, see. we're still trying to get use to it. i know i havent.

but we were dismissed early thanks to wilson and justin..?

but tuesday was so bio. nuh uh you didnt read it wrong. bio, in my dictionary and i bet the rest of the kids in class too, also means 'boring'. or maybe its the teacher.. ): sad.

well if you consider surviving means 'sleeping through it', then yea. i hereby proudly say, i survived mrs jeya's bio class.

)': there's another period with her tomorrow. )':

we talked about blogging during cme(and english). ..we did some discussion and mrs o wanted 2 'interesting blogs'. almost instantly norine and i thought of eldwen's (:(:

ryan suggested my bloggo... hm. well, she got my url all wrong so i guess nahh no harm. and mrs o pronounced my name wrong? what? lee-la? haha!?

you know whats the most hateful thing one can do? is to pronounce someone else's name wrongly. its insulting to me, you know. ive been her student since i stepped here and she still couldn get my name right? haha!? hahah!!?!?

its not her fault la, i suppose.

you know what? today's discussion kind of made me think. blogging is a good stress buster, a great time-killer, your very own bitcho-centre(i made that up.. hm. dont ask.). its all fun and games.

but its like having your own room complete with a waterbed, a stereo and a karaoke set, cable tv, posters of your favourite band/your own band?/porn stars, a mini fridge with plenty of supply of cornetto ice-cream, your guitars and amplifiers and speakers and most importantly, *no school books!* ....... but surround you are transparent walls.

people out there can look and see what you're up to and that is kindar wrong. the attention's enjoyable but sooner or later, it's really gonna suck.

blogging = sharing and sharing is fun (: even though they dont drop comments here, i know people actually read my shits. and i like it that they read because that's what this whole thing is all about, right?

yea you may like it that people drop by your blog and read and actually enjoy it (i get that alot.. hahaha! hm. what? a girl cant brag?). until you find out exactly who reads it.

im sure you'll be all cautious and wary the next time you blog. and then you'll go, "oh my god he/she reads my blog!??! oh no!!! this is bad! this is bad!! what's he/she gonna think of me now!? oh no! i must be careful of what i blog." yadayadayada.

i know. because i feel so. ha ha.

its really ironic, thats all it is.

i found out this friend of mine knows so much about me and i freaked out when she mentioned something i didnt remember telling her or wanting to, for that matter. and she told me she reads my blog frequently..and "liking it"(sorry, i just must add that. haha..). the point is: now that she knows about it, its scary because the thought is like being stalked.. i shouldnt mentioned that bit in my bloggo. but its too late now, isnt it?

you may go, let them read its okay i want them to. but after they do, and after knowing who they are, you may start to think otherwise.

ive thought about it. i think im shutting down this blog.

ill give you sometime to recover.

....

i wouldn call shawtiz-rule.blogspot my sanctuary because i dont really share every single thing here. and that sucks because i want to but ive known better not to.

i want privacy where i can say anything i feel without having doubts(or worries about the person who it may concern stumbling upon my bloggo). i want to break down these transparent walls and replace it with steel bricks.

okie yea. ill still be blogging though but im not putting it up where everyone and anybody can have access to it. i want to keep it a low-pro and only for my eyes.

im tired of sharing. ..im scared of sharing.