-} your hair began to fall out?
Its not like its gonna fall out all at the same time, rights? See a strand of hair and go fuck.

-} your best friend died in a car crash?
Cry my eyeballs out. But that won't happen anytime soon or anything because Delfy can't walk.

-} your most loathed teacher kissed you?
Ewk? For one thing, I'm not gonna be anywhere near him. Distance must be >3-m of radius. So. Explain to me again the possibilities of getting kissed by him?

-} you wet the bed?
Anything but tell Momma. I'd even drag the mattress out to clean it myself! Or just leave it as it is.. The smell can't be that bad.

-} you were slapped across the face by your mother?
She wouldn't lay a finger on me. Hehh. I'm not saying I'm more superior than my own mother. I'm just saying that I'm not someone who would rebel against her. If I don't rebel, I won't get slapped. Nothing more nothing less. [says the girl who punches her own mother.]

-} everyone forgot your birthday?
What, if I'm dead? Because no way they could forget. I'm always around to remind them(: Unless they do it purposely then.. I'd be really really hurt. .. heh..

-} you became a vampire?
Hunt for my potential Prince Vampire and we both can rule the world.

-} someone tried to rape you?
I'll turn myself into a bat and fly awayy. Not after I bite him, that is. What? You say I was a vampire.

-} your mother caught you 'doing something'?
'Doing something'? Oh. You mean like sex? She'd probably make fun of my partner's bare naked butt.

-} your father saw you naked by mistake?
Cover up. Duh. Hehh. Very awkward, huh? Sooo embarrassed I'd probably run away from home. Hahh. But. I wouldn't have to worry about that, do I?

-} your jeans fell down in school?
Prayed I had a cute underwear on.

-} were asked out by someone you'd always felt sorry for?
I'd feel sorry for him even more.

-} accidentally killed a cat/dog/horse/beaver while cycling?
Whoa. I'd like to see anyone try kill a horse with a bike.

-} you suddenly found you had the power of telekinesis?'
Very handy for a lazy moron like me(: Life's great.

-} you got a letter in the mail from your new stalker?
Time to buy new clothes. Make sure I stop wearing that ugly faded imitation adidas shorts when I go out.

-} you were told your family had just been murdered?
Don't you fucking dare curse me and my family.

-} you found yourself attracted to the same sex?
Yeh. Myself.

-} you sent an anonymous Valentines card and that person found out it was you?
I'm not a coward who sends anonymous cards. I'm brave enough to put my name there. I mean, I'm not the only Lela in this world.

-} your parents told you they wanted you to go to therapy.
"Look who's talking."

-} you accidentally sat on your little brother's hamster and killed it?
Flush it down the toilet. Who would want hamster carcass in the house?

-} you got asked to donate a kidney to your hated half-cousin?
"I'm not allowing you anywhere near my body!!!!"

-} you got an anonymous love letter?
Probably someone else's. Or maybe it's Syahida playing a prank on me.

-} you saw Spider-Man swinging by?
Nahh. That would probably be Hans.

-} some evil old man grasped your behind?
"Bastard." Punch him. Arh-bish!