everything's getting crazier these days.

before i start, i wanna dedicate this entry to HANS!!!! and my ASILA gundu BABE!!! (:

i thought since mid years are over, things would get back to normal. or at least slow down a bit. but did it?

ohh no. of course not. are you crazy(there the 'c' word)? i, of all people, should have known better. since when things ever go the way you want it, right?

i got back my mt results yesterday. disgusting. i feel it should belong to the bin outside the mt room. i feel i should belong inside it as well.

believe it, suddenly the bin seems such a cosy place to be. that is the last place anyone would ever think anybody would hide.

i felt like crap after i got my mt papers. yea it wasnt an easy one. it was pretty difficult but i didn't thought i could get that low.

nana, meya and sriee were exchanging marks and going like, "wow you're good" and "no, you're better.." and all those sort of thing which only made me feel worst.

it's okie i don't blame them. they didn't know anything. i was hoping and praying id shrunk and eventually disappeared. i thought it was working because they didn't bother me about my marks. until nana started bugging me.

i don't blame her though. for some reason.. haha maybe im used to her or something but yea.

they knew i was upset and tried to cheer me up which only almost reduced me to tears. hah they were so sweet.

then i poured everything to hans who beared with me the whole entire moment even though it was all so sudden(: he made me feel so much so much so much better because he was willing to uncritically listen and even gave me advices or two.

he wasnt being critical or judgmental about the whole thing which was really a refreshing change((:

then just when i was feeling better about the whole thing, something bad just haaaad to happen.

okie it's not bad. it's just a minor thing, really, but it got so big because apparently ............ okie it just got real big and i started freaking out and he wasnt helping at all fuck him..

hell i was freaking out. because that was a matter of a friendship and.. trust.

too bad i just cant lie. ironically im not proud of the fact that i cant simply tell one small lie!!! if anything, im totally about honesty and yea its the best policy unless of course you're admirably good at lying.

so i talked to asila and shes so sweet to listen and..irgh shes just the bestest!!!!! see, it pays to have friends..good friends who listen and understand and dont judge you, that is.

asilaa and haaans!!!! ((: no words can express my gratitude!! thank you so much just doesn seem enough.. love you guys! (:

today was crazy too..especially when we checked our scripts and i got to see where i had gone wrong..ahwells. .. but..haha it was fun for a moment. especially when sriee actually threatened cikku majidah. aaahh swriee's the bestest.

if there's one thing i like about her is that shes the walking proof of the phrase: "good friends ask what happened. great friends find out and pretend it never happened."

i didn't really made that up myself.. i was watching desperate housewives and gabrielle said something like that to bree when bree asked if she was having financial problems.....

well i just find it very deep and thought-provoking. unless you're the type of friend who thinks otherwise: that you should always ask what the matter is because "you care".

hahah crap. i don't believe in that. pffft.

nana and qah tried to make me tell them my marks. i wanted to, really. i wanted to scream my marks out loud because thats the only way i think i might feel better: get it off my system.

but when nana started giving wild guesses as high as 70+, i thought heck. forget it. i knew she wanted to make me feel better but no it wasnt working.

sucks when people overestimated you. sigh.

anywaysm where was i!?

i changed my layout again.. im gonna stick to this because it reflects how i feel and gonna feel these days. lost. haha. like, "..gosh..*speechless*..was this supposed to happen?"

..okie that didn't make sense.

i put up a tagboard too.. just wanna try out new old things you see. haha. new old things. hahha. you guys hab better tag. pretty please.......((((((: tell me i suck for all i care. just tag. hees.

tomorrow we'll be getting back all the papers. why am i not looking forward to it!?!!?